News with a humourous edge
Trump and Putin to seek couples counselling after rare public spat
31 March 2025 @ 12:53 pm
There are shockwaves in the international autocrat-admirer community today, as Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have announced they are seeking couples counselling after a rare moment of public discord shook their long-standing bromance.Snow White gets first five-star review after putting together five one-star reviews
31 March 2025 @ 11:42 am
Disney’s live-action remake of Snow White has received its first five-star review after five one-star reviews were crammed together on the poster.Mums begin yet another 364-day run of thankless graft
31 March 2025 @ 7:54 am
The nation’s mums have today embarked on their traditional 364-day ultramarathon of invisible labour, following a brief 24-hour celebration involving a shop-bought card, a lukewarm cup of tea in bed, and a wilted daffodil in a jam jar.UK honours nation’s Mothers by stealing an hour of sleep from them
30 March 2025 @ 10:01 am
In a stirring display of national gratitude, the UK has chosen to celebrate Mother’s Day this year by sneakily nicking an hour of sleep from every mum in the country. As the clocks leapt forward for Daylight Saving Time in the early hours of Sunday morning, millions of mothers awoke to the grim realisation thatJustin Welby offered big money transfer to Catholic Church after demonstrating world-class ability to protect child abusers
30 March 2025 @ 9:24 am
Justin Welby could find himself a new home inside the Catholic Church after Vatican officials were said to be impressed by his ability to protect child abusers inside the Church of England.New WH Smith owner asked at checkout if it wants to buy a discounted Chocolate Orange
28 March 2025 @ 2:39 pm
The new owner of WH Smith has been asked if its sure it wouldn’t also like to buy a Terry’s Chocolate Orange at the discounted price for £1.50, before it completes its purchase of the ailing retailer. Michael Waltz to make Greenlanders feel like ‘real Americans’ by pushing classified intelligence through their letterboxes
28 March 2025 @ 11:34 am
National Security Advisor Michael Waltz is to use his visit to Greenland to make the local residents feel like real Americans by freely sharing entirely inappropriate classified military intelligence with them.Parents who want LGBT rights classes banned because they are “confusing” somehow fine with algebra
28 March 2025 @ 8:47 am
Parents who want classes around LGBT rights stopped on the grounds that they are "confusing" are somehow fine with all of the other confusing shite their children will have hammered into their ears at school.Man paralysed after being crushed under the weight of single perfectly manageable task
27 March 2025 @ 11:49 am
A man has been left utterly paralysed after being crushed under the immense weight of the single perfectly manageable task he has ahead of him today.Man ‘secretly’ vaping on the bus definitely getting away with it
27 March 2025 @ 11:29 am
A man discreetly vaping on a bus has definitely got away without anybody noticing, by only blowing out gently downwards towards his legs.