News with a humourous edge
Vampires celebrating their longest day of the year
21 December 2024 @ 9:33 am
Lords of the un-dead are celebrating the winter solstice, their longest day of the year.Child completely rewrites Christmas list with less than five days to go
20 December 2024 @ 11:05 am
With just a few days to go until Santa visits, a six-year-old has totally changed his mind about what he wants for Christmas. In the midst of supply chain concerns, Simon Williams ensured that his son Jake wrote his Christmas list nice and early. “It was done and dusted by mid-October,” said Simon. “He wantedElon Musk’s DOGE secures first big efficiency win by saving $190m of government money that was about to be wasted on child cancer research
20 December 2024 @ 10:28 am
Elon Musk has secured his first big win as the joint head of the new US Department of Government Efficiency by killing a bill that included $190m to be spent on research into childhood cancers.Saruman and the Uruk-hai thank Elon Musk for his generous donation
19 December 2024 @ 2:48 pm
Saruman the White has today thanked Elon Musk after the billionaire donated $100m for Isengard to create an army of Uruk-hai.‘Turkey Tax’ and other government ideas to take money away from pensioners
19 December 2024 @ 2:27 pm
The government has today revealed a number of new initiatives to take money away from pensioners it is revealed. Women of a certain age denied compensation, confirms new Pensions Secretary Gregg Wallace
18 December 2024 @ 11:45 am
Millions of women of a certain age will not be getting any compensation, according to new Pensions Secretary Gregg Wallace.Man who walked all the way from the settee to the fridge and back awarded Doncaster Sports Personality of the Year
18 December 2024 @ 11:28 am
A man who successfully made it all the way from his living room to the kitchen and back again in one trip has been awarded Doncaster Sports Personality of the Year.Dreadful hate-filled spam-faced old misogynist of the year competition ends in a tie
18 December 2024 @ 10:41 am
The Dreadful Hate-Filled Spam-Faced Horrible Old Misogynist of the Year competition has ended in a dramatic tie.Prince Andrew uninvited to Christmas at Sandringham after security find wire under his jumper
17 December 2024 @ 12:34 pm
It’s been announced that Prince Andrew will not join the rest of the Royal Family for Christmas at Sandringham after security discovered a wire taped to his chest. Prisons to vacate cells with convicted Poppy wearers to make way for people guilty of saying “Merry Christmas!”
17 December 2024 @ 12:22 pm
With the Christmas holidays imminent, it is feared that the already overcrowded prison service will reach breaking point following convictions for people using traditional Christmas greetings. There is concern those saying “Merry Christmas” as opposed to the more contemporary “Happy holidays” could lead to an exponential rise in the prison population, according to all the